It seems timely, what with this #OccupyWallStreet thing going on, to talk about corporate asshattery in the video game industry.

As I’m absolutely sure you’re aware, Mojang, makers of Minecraft have been served some kind of legal something by Zenimax, owners of Bethesda Sofware, makers of The Elder Scrolls series of games, over Mojang’s use of the word “Scrolls” as the name of their next game. As with many of these kinds of legal thingies, Zenimax claims that for anyone to use the word “Scrolls” in conjunction with their product invites confusion amongst consumers that this “Scrolls” product is in any way associated with The Elder Scrolls.

I don’t speak legal, but I’ve seen enough Law & Order to know that this line translates to the fact that Zenimax thinks you’re a fucking idiot.

See, if someone tells me that Coke is not Pepsi, and if I look at a can of Coke, and a can of Pepsi, and see that one says “The Coca-Cola Company” and the other says “Pepsi Co.”, then my college educated, book-reading, Generation X fostered, “I must be doing something right because my child is healthy and still in my care” mind can say “yeah, I can see that Coke is not Pepsi”. I don’t sit there and drool like a lobotomized frog as my eyes flit back and forth between the two cans while I wait for my one neuron to fire up before I can process what I’m seeing in front of me. Apparently, Zenimax sees their current and potential customer base as the later, and not so much of the former.

They claim that it’s about the law; what the law says, and what the law is intended to respect, support, and prevent. I can’t argue with that, because I haven’t gotten to the copyright and trademark dispute episode of Ally McBeal yet, but I do know that every human being – and lawyers – have decisions to make during certain situations as to whether to do good, or to be a total dickwad. Yes, the law is on the books for a reason, but just because one has a hammer doesn’t mean one needs to swing it, especially if there are totally legitimate, face-saving alternatives where everyone wins. There were most certainly a number of ways for Zenimax to get out of this situation without this kind of Fallout. According to Notch, he offered to settle the dispute over a game of Quake 3, which apparently Zenimax didn’t find amusing, but he also purportedly offered to rename the game, to not trademark the name, or to pad the name with other words to dilute the visibility. Personally, I’m all about creative conflict resolution (as I believe any rational, open minded human being should be), but Zenimax is apparently totally devoid of both creativity and humor, and decided to swing that hammer anyway.

I don’t like getting political or soapboxy, really. I like bitching from time to time like anyone else, especially where the asshattery is so over top and blatant that ignoring it just makes one look like one is trying too hard to ignore it. I may not know the exact details of what’s really being said between these parties, so all I have to go on is what’s being reported in the media. If the media spins it, shame on me for falling for it. But if Zenimax drops the ball and doesn’t spin it, shame on them. The quotes from them illustrate an intractable, selfish and totally belligerent corporation that would rather beat it’s industry-mates into submission then to do good by their neighbors, and to present a respectable face to their constituents. Instead, they believe bullying is the best business practice. I hope they get a nice office on Wall Street.