Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

I think it’s safe to say that no one in these circles — the people this post advertisement will reach — is immune to cycles of interest and ennui regarding the games we play, or at a lower level, the kinds of games we play.

I’m sliding back into my phase of “I don’t know what I want to play”. I am obligated to get back into The Secret World, because it’s got just the right amount of creep for the Halloween season, despite the fact that I play alone and have never actually completed the Halloween event (I’m not holding my breath that I’ll fare any differently this season). I am actually making measurable progress now, which is one of my cornerstones to remaining interested in game.

I’ve also taken up the yoke in Elite Dangerous again. I’m still obsessed with Star Citizen, but there’s only so much to do with it right now: try out ships, fly around, and do repair missions and the one investigation mission for cash that’ll get wiped out eventually. And my system doesn’t run it all that well. Elite is still the imperfect beast it’s always been, with its limited engagement and single-minded route towards more money and bigger ships, but at least it’s working, and there are improvements on the horizon (get it!?). Except when I get blown up by NPCs, like what happened last night.

What I’m not doing is World of Warcraft. I cancelled my sub this morning after a discussion with a like-minded friend. My feelings about the situation were contained in the post previous to this one, and the situation still stands: too much themepark is showing through Blizzard’s sandbox attempt, and it’s just muddying the waters for me. I cannot take it to task for being shoddy. Even with my limited WoW experience, it’s their best expansion to date, but it seems to also be WoW‘s late foray into puberty: growing and changing, but really and painfully awkward.

Meanwhile, I bought the Destiny expansion, and instantly regretted it. I was originally not high enough in level to use it, but was also overlooked when my usual strike team decided to plow through it without inviting me. They completed it, and one member opted to not play it again from that point which left me high and dry, as half the fun of that game (2/3 the fun, really) was playing it with other people. I had put it on the shelf for months, and the only reason I’d taken it down was in anticipation of playing with others again.

I’m starting to get the feeling that I’m caught somewhere between wanting a really in-depth, thinking person’s game, and not having anywhere near enough time to devote to such a thing. I’ve still got Stellaris installed, and it’s a nightly contender but never gets the nod because I need several hours to feel like my sessions are worthwhile. TSW is fairly highbrow in this regard with its investigation missions, but I’ve been through them before at this stage and have therefor fallen back on looking up the answers. Elite fulfills the agency aspect of my need to forge my own way in the galaxy, but offers little else. Now what?

I have no idea. My friends will pretty much only play The Division, and only then on Monday night, or randomly through the week, so it’s pretty much the only game I have to play if I want to play with other people. I’ve taken to streaming with the newly repurposed Forge, but don’t have a groove there, or else I’m not streaming anything anyone wants to watch. All in all, my gaming time seems to be increasingly…pointless? Unsatisfying at best, I suppose. I don’t know if it’s restlessness, disappointment, or loneliness that’s causing the heavy sigh.

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